Screwing Up
by TrickstersImp
Summary: So I screwed up. Sue me.  I don't have many regret in life, or at least I never used to... but there is always something I wish I done better. Some mistake I want to fix... this hasn't changed since I started here. In fact, it may have gotten worse.


So I screwed up.

Sue me.

It's not like I haven't done it before. I've done it more times than you can possible count, and you know what, I'm proud of that fact. There's only one screw up that I am beginning to regret.

One screw up got me into this stupid place.

Into this stupid place where I get yelled at if I mention Harry Potter, and where they can say "Tea time" and everybody looks at me strangely if I laugh. I got stuck in this place where on my first day they looked at me as if I was weirder than the guy who stuffs his bird.

And nobody is weirder than the guy who stuffs his bird.

Trust me, if you'd met Victor you would understand, but I have to say I think the fact that he was a stuffed bird does say a lot. I've said stuffed bird like three times in the last fifty words. I just feel like I have to stress it a little bit.

These kinds of things _would not _happen in the USA. However in the US you do get expelled purely for hitting on the principal's hot daughter… in my defence, you haven't ever seen her.

I know that's not much of an excuse. And it's probably not that which got me expelled… it may have been the fact I hit her brother.

And he was a git. If Patricia thinks I'm a slimeball then I have no idea what she'd think of him. I just don't think it would be a very pleasant experience. But now that I think about it, the look on his face after he met her would be priceless. I would pay good money to see it happen. I may actually make that happen, it would be fun to drag Patricia all the way to my home town just to have it happen.

Apart from the fact I never want to see my old High School ever again in my life. Anubis House may even beat that old suck-fest.

Doesn't change the fact that I screwed up. I screwed up and ended up in Harry Potter land.

And I might be falling for my very own Hermione.

I don't know why, but I just can't get her out of my head, no matter how hard I try, and I've been trying very hard. It's just that she's just… she's so annoying, and frustrating, and idiotic and stubborn, so pretty, quick-witted.

She's just so… Patricia.

A complete mix of personality's right inside one person. Nothing was ever simple with her, I had to turn at least three different wrongs before I got to a right and even then my right would still go wrong.

I probably didn't make the greatest start with her though. We may have started arguing… actually we are still arguing, but after that dance thing which was not actually a smart thing even if I did win the bet.

I had to give Jerry and Alfie props for that though, even without winning that bet they still managed to see me make an utter fool of myself. I smelled like milk for hours after that. But that isn't one of the screw ups I regret.

My screw up was much worse…

It was worse than me leaning in to kiss her, even though I never managed to get up the guts to finish what I started.

The next mistake I had made was falling for Patricia Williamson.

It was so incredibly stupid. I should have known she'd never admit to anything, even though I could see she felt it too. She was far too stubborn for that, but I guess if she wasn't she wouldn't be Patricia and then I wouldn't be in love… I mean like, love may be slightly too strong, with her anyway.

So I was going around in a vicious circle, I was in love with a girl who wouldn't be with me without a fight, and if she would be with me without a fight I wouldn't be in love with her, like, I mean dammit.

I can't be in love with this girl, I've only know her for a few weeks.

I just can't… but somehow I think… I think I may be. I don't know, I've never felt like this before, ever. I have never felt like this even over girls I got expelled over. But Patricia wasn't like those other girls. Comparing to her to the kind of girls I had used to know just felt truly ridiculous. Sure, there was always a goth girl at whatever shit-hole I went to that year, but Patricia wasn't goth, she just didn't take any shit from anyone.

Patricia Williamson was almost impossible to accurately describe without using the words Patricia Williamson. I have no idea why I'm attempting it though. I feel like I almost owe it to myself to give it a shot. To try and make my own body understand what I see in her, or rather to eliminate the part that saw it in the first place. This wasn't me, the guy that got sweaty palms around her and felt his heart start to beat faster when I saw her.

I wanted to tell that little traitorous little part of me that was constantly arguing that this was not a screw up to shut the hell up and let that smooth talking, cool Eddie have his body back.

But I don't think I've quite accomplished that.

So you know what my last screw up is… it's the one that could have made all those mistakes into opportunities and made it all better instantaneously…

My worst screw was not kissing Patricia and sweeping her off her feet the moment I first saw her.

Instead I lay on the couch complaining like a jack-ass, a cute charming jack-ass but a jack-ass none the less. And Patricia picked right up on that.

But then I guess… I wouldn't be me, and then she wouldn't like me anyway.

Is it actually possible that I, Eddie Miller have no regrets?

It might just be…

Wow, that's a first.

_**This is my first time actually authoring for HOA Fanfiction although I am a regular in Victorious. I'm still catching up on HOA episodes online (I live in the UK where they air later, which is very annoying because it's a BRITISH SHOW… (seriously, the guy playing Alfie was a sixth former at my little bro's school, he saw him while he was eating lunch one day))**_

_**But the moment I saw Eddie and Patricia… I just thought that Peddie, was ever so slightly… PERFECT! But I may not have done it justice.**_

_**The Name Is A Lie, As Is The Cake**_

_**I-Am-Not-A-Smiley-Person**_


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